Sunday, April 30, 2006

Dreams Born From the Heart Never Die, They Simply Lie Sleeping

Missed a couple of posts, sorry.

Friday was okay - just filed and cleared up my desk. Just in case things change and I choose to move on. I had a crappy email from the lecturer in one of my units, that said basically do the work or defer. I also called a friend and she had just returned from backpacking around Tassie, and got to roll in the snow. She is one of my best friends and I miss her like crazy. It was wonderful to talk to her.

Saturday was pretty good considering. It was actually an excellent day, only I was suffering from a really bad headache which kinda put a damper on the day. Balingup was a great day out. I really enjoyed seeing everything, and caught up with some wonderful friends. It really helps put life back in perspective, when you realise how great they all are.
We had a meal in a great little gallery cafe which makes the best hot chocolate in the world!!! It was orgasmic!!

Today, Dad came over and stayed all day. We had a barbeque lunch and looked through all my painting gear. I gave him plenty of paints and mediums and lent him my brushes to get him started. He is so lost. All he can see ahead of him is loads of emptiness. Life can be pretty damn cruel some times.

Oh well, better get on.. Now that I have to just get on and study or defer!! Well, I'll just aim for a scrape through pass. If I fail, then I'll just repeat.


Thursday, April 27, 2006

Respect People's Differences

A difficult start to the day. Some people at work were really moody, and I couldn't deal today. I know everyone is struggling with the lack of communication with the takeover and everything, but why take it out on each other.

Just a short note today, I'm so tired after only 3 hours sleep last night.

More maybe tomorrow.........

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

New Life

I visited Dad today. He is so sad and lost. People have stopped visiting. Unfortunately this makes it so much tougher. He realises how alone he is. I guess people feel so uncomfortable with grieving people.

We talked about painting. I think he is inspired to start painting again. We searched through some of his old boxes for paint supplies and old drawings.

I couldn't face work today. Thats very bad, because if I don't work I don't get paid. Oh well--have to learn to live on boiled rice. :)

I'm struggling with study and assignments. I have one overdue, it was due last week, and I haven't started it yet. I might have another go this afternoon. If it gets too difficult I might just have to withdraw from that unit and pick it up again next semester. A bit of a pity because I have done so much work, but never mind, its not a big enough life issue to stress about.

I'm going to give myself another week, and then I'm getting back into exercise. I feel like crap, and its my own fault, because I've stopped exercising and I'm eating so much rubbish.

Anyway, study awaits.



Just had a call from my lecturer. So pleased. I only need to send emails to my lecturers and I can have extensions on my assignments, and I don't have to do some of the presentations, just hand in reports. So cool. Cos I'm just not concentrating, and its really adding to my stress at the moment.

I'm so pleased.

Caio again!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Trying is the First Step Towards Failure

I'm a virgin blogger. This is my first time.

Okay, so here goes.

Lost my mum two weeks ago, so they tell me this is a good way to help with the healing process. Forgive me if this is clunky. I'm still learning. I'll get better I promise.

I'm finding that although people say please phone me if you need to talk, or let me know if I can do anything, blah blah. But when you start to say you are having a bad day, they don't know what to say and you can really sense thier discomfort. Its easier to not phone anyone.

So, I'll tell you! I had a bad day today. Couldn't stop crying. Felt crap really. Head is hurting, heart is hurting.

Mum was my best friend, my mum, everything that mums are supposed to be. I miss her like mad. Miss her sense of humour and just the fact that I could phone her whenever and I didn't need a reason.

Life goes on. People are still demanding my attention and I'm finding it hard sometimes to focus. Yet I don't want to wallow in it either. I just want to survive this.

Oops gotta go. One of those demanding people.....