The Art of Allowing, in a nutshell is CHILL. -Abraham

You have no cause for anything but gratitude and Joy. 

Allowing vs Achieving

This wonderful quote and the whole module is just so uplifting and joyous.  The weight that is lifted from my shoulders is huge.  My buddhist and yogic teachings have been gently coaxing me to just be and let go and trust myself that I do know what I am doing.  But the self doubt and external influences easily take me off my path.  

Just Be - so love this.  I have said it to so many people so many times, but I often forget to Just Be.  

My allowing practice that I'm doing every day, is in my work life.  Living with chronic illness can make working quite stressful and also work itself can have its stresses.  I let go and just allow.  I don't resist.  I take time to respond to queries, I don't react.  I am approaching my work life with grace and gratitude.

Be a Light unto yourself.  Be your own confidence.  Hold to the truth within.

There is no arrival; Uplevelling is an ongoing evolutionary process.

I fully trust and believe in the person I'm becoming. -Unknown

Uplevel

The big things that have changed for me in the past 3-5 years is my home.  If I go back a couple more years - moving to the coast after nearly 30 years inland was a big change.  Buying our new home here and renovating it.  I have also changed my career -  This was huge - I was in HR for over 25 years. I also changed industries.  I had 25 years working in mining and oil and gas.  Now I work in Primary Health.

My health has been a roller coaster ride. Sadly mostly down hill, but the upside is I have a much better handle on managing it. 

The next chapter could be interesting.  I am working towards improving my health and wellbeing.  I am wondering,now that I am really thinking about this, if my current job is moving towards its expiry date for me.  Maybe there is something out there for me that I need to be open to.

I'm not clear on what my limiting beliefs are.  I think perhaps money and health will be the things that would stop me from taking a chance.

So, to rewrite them in a positive way?  I am confident that I will always have enough money and I will be in good health and can do what works for me.

I will protect my energy around draining people.  I will learn how to say 'no' at the right times.  I will listen to my intuition about the relationships that are nurturing for me.

Rituals

Rituals

A Daily Ritual is a way of saying I'm voting for myself; I'm taking are of myself. -Martel Hemingway

I am slowly bringing new rituals into my every day life.  I am rising early and starting with a meditation.  I purchased a meditation cushion and I sit in a special place reserved for meditation.  I light a candle and rub an essential oil on my wrist and the back of my neck.

After 15-20 minutes of meditation, I have a dry brush massage and shower.  This is followed by a warm oil massage using jojoba oil.  I then do my yoga practice. 

I would like to do some self-care rituals in the evening, but this is a work in progress.  I look back on how far I've come and I'm confident, my work day and evenings will improve in time.

I would like to include more journals in my daily routine.  I have the morning pages, and art journals, but I would like to write more.  I live in my head and I think getting stuff out would bring clarity.

I have a couple of ideas for a birthday ritual.  One would be to visit a waterfall every birthday and sit and just listen, inhale the beautiful scents and watch to water.  Another would be to walk at night to a soundtrack.  Just enjoying the absolute amazingness of being alive!


"This is a wonderful day.  I've never seen this one before." -Maya Angelou

Embrace and Love your Body, it's the most amazing thing you will ever own. -Unknown

Fuel

Movement:

In my previous blog post, I talked about the wonderful reasons for including movement in my daily rituals.  Often work and illness can make this part hard for me.  But every day is a new start.  Eventually it will be part of my daily ritual.

Relationships:

I am blessed to have great relationships with my family and my husband.  We have our ups and downs like any family but I am so lucky to have my children and grandchildren living in the same town as us.  They may choose to live elsewhere one day, but for now we are doing so well.  They seem to like speaking to us daily and visiting a couple of times a week.  

Career:

I have a complex role but I work for a great organisation that shares my values.  I think I do need to do a little more work on how I respond in my work life.  I often take things to heart and get frustrated.  Its a work in progress.  As far as a career goes, its not bad given I'm about 7 years from retirement.   

Spirituality:

Yoga.  Wow.  This is my world now. I started the yoga journey about 40 years ago.  I loved it then and love it now.  I have drifted away but I always come back.  I used to teach Hatha Yoga many years ago.  Maybe I could revisit.


"A body of perfect health, and strength, mind with all clarity and calmness.  Intellect as sharp as a razor, Will as pliable as steel.  Health full of love and compassion.  Life full of dedication and realisation of the True Self is the goal of Yoga." -Sri Swami Satchidananda

A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise. A.A. Milne

Movement

This blog entry is about movement.  For me movement is a little bit challenging as I have Fibromyalgia and MCAD which makes exercise difficult.  Not impossible, just difficult.

I do know that an important element in pain management is movement.   It is so easy to curl up on the couch when you are in so much pain and when walking is not only painful but can cause a reaction of some kind.

But this is where my 'best self' methods come in to play.   I need balance - I am learning what activities give me energy and what takes the energy away.  Pain takes away the energy!  Oh my - in buckets!  

My reasons for wanting to include exercise in my day for the physical is not to look good, or all that crazy - because if I don't move, I won't move.  My body will seize up and I will need walking supports.  The emotional side of exercise, is that I love bushwalking and swimming - these are my meditation times and my time with nature. This is when I feel absolute joy in being part of this wonderful world.

My mental health definitely benefits from walks with my dog, and my husband.   This is the time when we solve the worlds problems. Spiritually, I am so full of love for this body when it works and so grateful to this beautiful planet.  I don't do workouts.  Only yoga, swimming and walking - the gentle arts.

Yoga is my saviour - but I needed to see a yoga therapist to find the right postures to avoid making things worse. With her guidance and support, I now practice yoga daily and I'm being my best self while living with chronic illness.

"Action is movement with intelligence. The world is filled with movement.  What the world needs is more conscious movement, more action." -B.K.S.Iyengar

Do what makes your soul happy -Unknown

I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent.  Caring for myself is an act of survival - Andre Lorde

Self-Care

In my toolkit I have:

Yoga, meditation, walking, beach walks, puppy cuddles, music, great vegan food, painting, massage, essential oils, grandchildren hugs.  And journalling. My toolkit is pretty well stocked -how does yours look?  

My perfect day:

My perfect day would start with yoga and meditation, and then a walk on the beach with my puppy.

A yummy breakfast on the deck and enjoying the beautiful view.  Light housework and then I would meet friends or family at a cafe for a lovely lunch.  While out I would buy a bunch of flowers.  

Then home to do some painting or bodhran practice.  A massage in the late afternoon.  A bit of light reading before dinner or maybe take my puppy for another walk near the harbour.  

Prepare a delicious meal and after dinner, off to a trad session at the Liberte.
hmm no room to go to work.... 😄😄


I have a great life - awesome family, good job, I love to paint and play my Bodhran, great friends - the best!, beautiful home with magnificent views.  Life is grand.

Journalling is like whispering to one's self and listening at the same time - Mina Murray

Journal

I was going to attempt a Vlog - unfortunately technology failed me.  Another time perhaps.


A little grab from my stream of consciousness writing- "I am immensely proud of how I handled such a crazy day yesterday.  I didn't beat myself up, I was calm, centred and open.
The old me would have struggled, but I was succinct, open, spoke easily and conversationally.  I wasn't stiff.
Maybe I could have stood up for myself a little, but my new mantra is 'grace, grace and more grace."  I want to be the one people want to talk to; the nice one; the smart one; the helpful one."
Five things I am grateful for:

1. My beautiful man
2. My family
3. My precious grandchildren
4. My health
5. Albany
6. and My puppy! I am so grateful for her.

Health is a state of complete harmony of the body, mind a spirit - BKS Iyengar



My desires for today and not huge - just to be my best self - a calm, graceful and a beautiful human. 

Tension is who you think you should be; relaxation is who you are - Chinese proverb

Meditation

We shall find peace. we shall hear the angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds. -Anton Chekhov, 1897

I love meditating - just saying!  Sitting in silence - how absolutely wonderful.  How to make your life sparkly.  Gotta love sparkle. 
I have experienced many forms of meditation.  As a yogini, meditation is not a new thing, but it is one of the things that gets dropped when life gets busy.

I have used guided meditation, I have given guided meditation classes, and sometimes I just sit in wonder.  

Currently I am experimenting with Om Shanti and gonging.  Just to truly quiet my active mind.  

The body and mind are interconnected and interdependent. The body expresses the thoughts of the mind. If you have a happy mind, your face and body will reflect that happiness. - HH Sri Swami Satchidananda

Self compassion

I finally realised that being grateful to my body meant beginning to give more love to myself. - Oprah Winrey

This is so true and very relevant to me. Finding the Body Love method and joining the Academy has been instrumental in my healing journey.  I would still be struggling and battling with my body and be on this constant cycle of self-loathing and anguish.  My journey is going really well.  I have the occasional set-back, but I am definitely living a much more sparkly life now.

Peace, Light and love....xxxx

The body is the vehicle, consciousness the driver. Yoga is the path, and the chakras are the map. -Anodea Judith

Chakras

Yoga and Chakras have been my world for the past 40 years.  Life's many distractions and the occasional tsunami has meant that I have drifted off my path many times.
Andrea Ferretti says that the Chakras are the blue print of your life and yoga is the architect that helps you to make that blueprint a reality.Happily, I am back on my path and working on that blueprint.I am working on my solar plexus, throat, and root chakras at the moment as I feel these are causing my imbalance in my healing.While I'm using yoga, medication and mantra's in my healing, these quotes are great to build the picture or design of my life.

Throat Chakra

“Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.” ~Amy Lowell

“May you hear and speak truth. May your life and your creations express the fullness of who you are. May you know ever deeper levels of truth.” ~Author Unknown

Solar Plexus Chakra

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” ~Attributed to Hanoch McCarty

“You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.” ~Irene C. Kassorla

Root Chakra

“Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.” – Kurt Vonnegut

I love that last quote.  It really resonates with me as I learn to live with these autoimmune diseases. 

Caio!

Positive Anchors

“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” –Mary Engelbreit

Positive Anchors

About positive anchors - they are something that will carry an emotional charge which will change our emotional response to either positive or negative depending on what it is.  A positive anchor will induce positive and useful emotional responses or attitudes. 

My positivity ratio is fairly high - in my mind I am a bit of a Pollyanna.  Although I do get bought down fairly quickly by others' negativity.  I guess this shows someone of weak character.  I can be charging along in my little bubble of light, love and sparkle and someone will point out the shadows and, "bam" there's the dark cloud - out goes the light.

 My husband's Nanna was a very wise amazing lady and she would say to me "Count your blessings everyday."  Which I do, it's sort of like a gratitude journal in my head.  I do have a gratitude journal and I sometimes write it down, but mostly it's in my head. 

I like to embrace the love I have for my family and notice the beauty around me.  I have done this since my earliest memories. My hubby finds it irritating.  Haha!  He will be venting about someone or something, and I will look at the positives or the learnings of the incident.  

Music and nature are my 'go-to' positive anchors.  I like to have a personal soundtrack to tackle my day each day, and I like to notice the beauty of life around me.  I also have my buddhist saying - "Everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have, on hand at the time."  It helps when someone is having a bad day and would like to take me down with them.  

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed out by tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again - Alex Tan

Forgiveness

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.  - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Letting go, that the past could be any different.   This is such a powerful statement.  My journey these few weeks has so tested me.  I always believed I was a fairly forgiving person - always quoting "everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have on hand at the time".  But things recently became very personal and wounds were re-opened and I did not respond in a loving,forgiving way.  I was judgmental and upset and generally very closed off.

The Forgiveness unit of the Body Love course came at the right time for me.  After much turmoil and self talk I managed to put into practice one of the tools we learned about in our course.  It did take me several days to work up the courage to ask for forgiveness and I was ready to take whatever reaction came from it.  I used the Hawaiian version - Thank you, I'm sorry, I love you, Please forgive me."  

The response was surprisingly gentle and loving.  Not what I had braced myself for.  I felt a tremendous lift and I definitely feel my healing journey is well on the way to better health for me.

Much Love

Me xx 

"Keeping baggage from the past will leave no room for happiness in the future." -- Wayne L. Misner

 "To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common -- this is my symphony." -- William Emery Channing

I love this quote. I have been a keen follower of the Zen habits and Marie Kondo for some time now. Unfortunately it has been a very slow process to remove the clutter from our lives. I wonder sometimes if we are naturally chaotic, or if we attract the chaos.  

It seems to be a constant work in progress. Our farm was full of way too much clutter.  It was rarely things we acquired for ourselves - it was stuff that ended up at ours.  When we sold up and moved to the coast we tried to only bring the things we wanted, but we suddenly ran out of time and had to bring it all with us.  Getting rid of the unwanted items sounds easy if you are in the US or a major city.  But we didn't have the population to find people that wanted our stuff, even when it was offered for free.

I don't necessarily have the attachment to things that my partner does.  But its his journey and I am supporting him.  We will get there when he is ready.  I have cleared out most of the things that don't spark joy for me, but I've been ready for this for a while.

My declutter journey is  my mind and my busy life.  That's a huge body of work for me.  Journalling, meditation and yoga are my tools for this particular massive job.  

🙏

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval -Mark Twain

It is my intention to:

• respect myself at all times
• show up for myself
• laugh out loud at least one today
• give myself the resources to be the best possible me
• be healthy and well
• speak kindly to myself
• be my best self

Open your arms to change but don’t let go of your values - Dalai Lama

Let's talk about values.

I realise that a lot of the conflict I have invited into my life recently has been because my values are being challenged.  I'm always a little astonished when others don't seem to share them.  Funny how although we know we are all individuals, we forget that not everyone thinks like us.

Dr Sam (my absolute guru) is the owner and teacher at the Australian Institute of Holistic Medicine where I studied Nutritional Medicine.  He would advise that you surround yourself with like minded people, only read books and magazines that reflected your beliefs, and throw out your television.  He would say 'don't read, listen or be around anything that would create angst or stress or challenge your values.  He is a gentle buddhist and I so get now what he was saying.  Its all about putting yourself and your health first.  If you have a choice, then why put yourself through that stress?  I haven't had a television for nearly 10 years and haven't missed it.  It's easy to get caught up in drama that is nothing to do with you, raises your heart rate and blood pressure - for what?  You can't change, control or influence what has happened.  It's done.

My values are compassion, kindness, love, honesty, respect and authenticity.  These values have been challenged because a few people in my life have been going through their own battles and while going through their individual journeys, they are looking for people to blame, are being dishonest with themselves and with me. Looking at the values list, I'm guessing that maybe their value are success, status and determination.  I need to get out of their way!

I Choose to Make the Rest of My Life, The Best of My Life - Louise Hay

No Rain, No Flowers.....

I have just finished reading a fabulous book - (fiction) and it has left an impression. You know, when you can't stop thinking about it.  Bright Side by Kim Holden.  Just awesome. Go Epic!

I have an addiction to light romance novels.   They are my escape.

Anyway - let's talk about money and my relationship with it.

We are more like acquaintances.  Once a fortnight, Money pops in for a coffee and we chat and it hangs out for a bit.  We go out and grab some food, fix up the power and technology, make sure I have a roof over my head and can get around if I need to.  Then it vanishes.  Not sure where it goes, but it certainly doesn't like hanging out with me for too long.  We are definitely not close.  Sad really - I'd like it to stick around - but c'est la vie. 

My Business

At this stage, there is no business. I am still just thinking.... thinking.. Being open, see what pops in to say hi.

People

Yay, my peeps.  I am so fortunate to have some wonderful people that are supporting me on my journey.  I am aglow with pink light and warm gooeyness.  Hey I invent words.  I feel truly blessed.

Dr Sam, my absolute guru from previous studies, also advised that you should surround yourself with people that think like you and share your values and beliefs.  It has taken me a while to get here, but I have been sent the best people!  Peace and Light!  😍

Self

My relationship with me is an interesting one.  I no longer feel like the floating head.  My body reminds me of its existence every second.  I live with chronic pain and blistering skin daily.  I tend to think of my body as a fragile little bird that has been hit by a car and is barely holding on.  It needs a lot of tenderness and nourishment.  I no longer worry about how I look, or if anyone is looking at me or judging me.  Having a blistering, face or hands, or legs, is painful.  I don't really worry about my appearance.  Its been like a slow conditioning.  I used to fuss about hair, makeup etc.  But after over 30 years I don't give a rats.  😏

Ciao!

 

Healing is an art.....It takes time; It takes practice, It takes love.......

What is my Body Love timeline..

The time in my life where I guess I was most comfortable with my body would have been when I was 14 years old.  I remember hanging out with my best friend and clothes were fun, never something to be feared or loathed.

I remember being so innocent and naive. My friend thought that if someone was raped, it meant the guy took her bra off. - We couldn't quite get our heads around what happened if they were raped several times.  Does he put the bra back on and then take it off again?

So, at 15 I lost that innocence, without consent.   What followed was a pregnancy and abortion and a couple of years in an abusive, controlling relationship.  I was forbidden to wear clothes that showed any curves or in any way could draw attention to me. 

I guess I became very body conscious then - I was terrified if anyone noticed me, it would draw his anger towards me.  I had obviously done something.

I met my husband at 18, three weeks after splitting with the monster.  He rescued me  and married me - my wonderful knight in shining armour.

Sadly, he struggles with giving compliments, showing affection and saying 'I love you".  So my struggles with my body did an 'about turn' - I needed him to notice me.  I thought if I could get my hip bones to show, he would think I was sexy.

After my first baby was born, I joined Weight Watchers - my card showed my that I was 53 kilos and my goal weight was 46kg.  I'm 164cm or 5'4" in old school. I struggled with anorexia and bulimia into my 20's.

Then I started working in my mid 20's as the primary income for the family in a male dominant industry. I still could not see how attractive I was.  I could only see frumpy. I struggled to be heard and taken seriously.  Meetings were torture.  I was ignored or teased or sent out to get coffee for everyone.

My studies confirmed my fears.  I remember my communications class, we discussed how only attractive people are taken seriously.  In recruitment, we talked about how important it was to look the part.

So the battle began.. 

I believe my struggles with my body image has been about 'being enough'.  I have never felt I was enough - in my relationships, or in my work.

And now, my war with my body is over, now we are on the same page.  I am nurturing this poor damaged body that is working so hard to keep me alive.  I am wrapping it in love and nourishment.  This year is my healing year.

As soon as the healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.... -maya angelou.

Hey,

I'm restarting this blog after a drought of 10 years!  Wow - anyway, what's been happening in those 10 years is for another time. My reasoning for the restart is that I'm studying and I need a reflections home base. 

I'm very rusty at journal writing, but I'll give it my best shot!

How do I feel right now at the beginning of this body love journey?

Truthfully?  Beaten, tired, a little desperate. I would like to say pumped, excited, motivated.... But truthfully, my poor body is defeated.  I suffer from multiple auto-immune diseases, mostly rare and some still officially undiagnosed.  But a little part of me - a tiny glimmer of light is - this is the universe giving me an answer - some hope.

I sometimes feel angry and a little bewildered - like, how can a yogini, nutritionist, vegetarian buddhist be so unwell.  I do feel a victim sometimes - stupid I know.

How can I make this course a priority?

I am dedicating time for it depending on my health challenges.  I'm also reducing my work hours depending on my organisation accepting my request.

What will be easy about body love/body positivity?

What's easy I think will be the nurturing side of looking after my healing body.  The hard bit is the positivity - I believe that the body is an instrument not an ornament, at the moment - but its easy to get caught up in appearances.  Especially when you work in an industry where good health is measured on how you look.  ie, correct BMI, business suits, stiletto heels, perfect makeup and glossy perfectly tinted hair.  I am not always listened to or taken seriously.  I often think if I looked the part, people would pay attention.

What is my mission?

To live my best life and as, Maya says, as soon as the healing takes place go out and heal someone else.

The Pledge

I, janine, hereby pledge to stop dieting (for weightloss).

• I promise to stop counting every bite and obsessing over numbers.
• I promise to stop letting my scales tell me how beautiful, valuable or loved I am.
• I promise to stop buying miracle weightloss cures that don't work.
• I promise to stop giving my money to companies that rely on me feeling like my body is wrong.
• I promise to respect my body's hunger.
• I promise to that I will no longer use exercise as punishment for what I've eaten.
• I promise to stop taking part in self-deprecating diet talk.
• I promise to try my best to unlearn all the toxic lessons about my body that diet culture has taught me.
• I promise to stop dieting, and start living instead.  YESSAH!!!

Signed - Me.  😍

** I inserted Weightloss because I unfortunately need to be on special diets to manage my various conditions.

This is me..